So i sit here, in the middle of my room, and wonder, if i can even still call this my room.
We moved into the house around the year 2000. At that point i got my own room and i didn’t have any brothers. In the year 2010 i moved to England to study. Kept coming back for 4 years once or twice a year for holidays. Two years ago i returned home, lived there for a year, still kept coming to England for holidays, and finally came back to England full time last summer.
My room’s been empty for almost the same amount of time as it has been occupied. Every time i go back, i find it just as i’ve left it, more or less. Little dust here and there. Something pushed aside when brothers had tried to find something, but over all it has still stayed my room.
But should it?!
I love my room and everything in it, but with every year i get older (surprise surprise) and it becomes less and less likely that i will ever live there in my parents house like i did before. I’m some sort of a grown-up now, even though i don’t always feel like it, and i need my own corner or i should say – cornerS.
Plus, for the whole time my room’s been empty, my brothers have been sharing the same room. Fine, it is a huge room and they rarely spend any time in there apart from when sleeping…
I could find hundred and one excuse, but at the end of the day… Shouldn’t tinyone take my room? He’s coming up to eight, but Gusts is turning 13 this year. He is going to be a teenager. A boy?! In his teens?! For the sake of Tinyone, he should have his own space.
Not that i am mean or selfish, but if i give my room to tinyone, where am i going to sleep when i go home? It is still my home. I cannot imagine another place to sleep and wake up apart from my room, facing the same old window and sun on the other side.
But i am so far away and it is never going to be the same. It is time to get over it and move forwards. Just need to deal with a few demons inside along the way.
I’m a sucker for ‘what’s already been and never will be like that again, but still hoping it could’…